at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
