I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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