is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize
