no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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