Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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