I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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