What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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