Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I want a musical about memes.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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