dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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