Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
