He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
