I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
