so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
