i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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