You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
