if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
