well you can't waste a boner
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
