can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
