whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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