Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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