Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize