I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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