How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
