3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
