the new term for farting is butt boxing.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
