i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
