Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
