I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
