Small penises have feelings too.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
