About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize