the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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