I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
