In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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