my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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