bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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