She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My hand turned me down
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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