And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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