and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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