I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
