I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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