if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
