Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
do nipples grow back?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
