Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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