I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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