i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
