Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize