I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
