you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
