But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
That's when you crack a 10am beer
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
