I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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