So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
