NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
