i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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