babies were throwing up all over the place
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
