Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
