his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
