Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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