is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
