Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
