dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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