bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
