it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
