i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
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I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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