dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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