the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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