and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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