ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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