FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize