This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
