Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
