Kiss
Puke
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
